Time: Necessary vs Unecessary

Lately I've been attempting at becoming more organised, trying to create a healthy routine that will allow me to grow intellectually, spiritually whilst also looking after my physical body. And it is HARD. I can say that I have succeeded in some areas more than others, in some no progress and others progress then a very clear regression.

When I began to realise that I was making regression in some of the areas, I decided to reflect on why I was regressing. I came to realise that it was because unlike in my holiday season before the start of the university term, there were many events that I was required to go to which were completely out of my control. This meant the routines that I was able to maintain were completely thrown out of the window when faced with the new. But what surprised me the most was the fact that even though I had suddenly gotten a lot busier than I previously had been, I still seemed to have the time to go through all of my YouTube subscriptions, check my Instagram account, yet the important things I wanted to do became forgotten, they were pushed aside. Why?

I recently watched a video about a band called Zeeland Worship where they talked about how as a band they had decided that they would not be using social media, which you can see here.  The lead singers reasoning was that when he got Facebook he became completely consumed, to the point that his family sat him down to tell him exactly that. The fact that we are coming to a time where people are being told that their social media consumption is affecting their physical relationships is just sad. What makes it worse is that many of us don't realise that it is also having a knock on effect on our personal wellbeing in that instead of carrying out activities that would actually benefit us, we are spending hours of our time looking on the internet at what others have put up. It's not a bad thing to want to know what's happening in the world, but when we are completely consumed with the virtual rather than the real, it's dangerous.

But I digress. I realised that it wasn't just the fact that I would look at social media instead of read the book I’ve been wanting to read for years, or simply read my bible more, I was also watching programmes instead of doing these activities. I was, actually still am, doing all the activities that don't actually benefit me as much as the more traditional ones I had set out to do.

I make time for the unnecessary but not the necessary. 

When I realised this, it was an eye opener. It made me really think about all the little things I did that weren't important, that took up most of my day, made the time fly in a blink of an eye (as cheesy as that sounds). It came down to the simple fact that I have anxiety, which I only realised after multiple GP (for those not in the UK, it’s a Doctor) appointments. In light of this diagnosis it became apparent that I filled up my time aimlessly with tasks that weren't fulfilling, didn't contribute to the progress of my day at all, but gave me the satisfaction of doing something that didn't remind me of all the targets I had to reach, the tasks that in a sense, my life and future depend upon. It’s a difficult position to be in. Having anxiety and trying to be productive without triggering it. 

To try and get rid of the unnecessary, make time for the necessary and not have a nervous breakdown because of the piling fears.

I make time for the unnecessary but not the necessary. 

Knowing this is the statement that best defines the organisation of my life, it also dawned on me that in making time for the unnecessary I am setting myself up in for a bigger chance of getting anxious. In avoiding the necessary, I let it pile up, pile up to a point that it’s overwhelming and make it worse for myself. That being said, bringing myself to do the necessary is difficult when there's always that thought at the back of your mind making you doubt yourself. It’s when I feel this that I remember that I was not made to be bound to the unnecessary, I was made and have been redeemed for freedom (Galatians 5:1 - the unnecessary is slavery). Jesus didn't come down simply so I could continue to have my joy taken away because of my anxiety, he came so that I could have a hope. A hope in Him and him alone. As Jeremiah 24:11 says, He has plans (that my anxiety and fear cannot change, that my procrastination will not deter) to give me hope and a future, where I will no longer be anxious, where I'll no longer have you worry about trying to distribute my time. And it's because of this promise I'm going to press on and organise my life. I'm going to continue to actively access, evaluate my successes and failures on the issue. I'll continue to pray for motivation, determination and a belief that I can do all things because God has given me the ability to do so. 

Hopefully my story will encourage you to do the same.

Ellah xx