“Follow Your Heart”… NOT!

“Follow your heart.” This is something that we’re all told at least once in our lives (or at least hear somewhere if not told directly). And I think it’s a whole load of rubbish. Imagine if in everything humanity did, each individual followed their hearts desires. It would be utter chaos. I suspect that there would be many more murderers around, I most definitely would be, just because our actions would be impulsive and not thought out. If you think the number of horrific events that happen at this moment is ‘horrendous,’ well just imagine just how many more there would be if everyone followed their deepest, darkest of our hearts desires. Actually, let’s not imagine. The issue when people use this overused phrase, they don’t truly think of the implications of what they are actually saying. To follow ones heat is to enact on every deep set desire one has at any one moment which includes the desire that society teaches us never to enact on, including the desires we should never speak aloud. There is also the probability that when you tell someone to follow their dreams, they’re dreams will often clash your own or they will leave you behind in their journey to fulfill their hearts desires. To actually follow your heart is a dangerous adventure, a dangerous journey, a dangerous one indeed.

Rather it should be do what makes you happy, but even then this piece of advice should be taken with a pinch of salt. To really take this advice on board we need to first establish what we mean when we say ‘happy.’ Now the Google definition of happy is feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Now, pleasure is but a fleeting thing, in my perspective its contentment that we should strive towards. Now I’m not saying that pleasure is wrong, it’s perfectly fine but when pursued solely, well that’s when it becomes dangerous. When we pursue our own personal pleasure we become self-centred and selfish. It’s with contentment that we truly strive for our well-being as well as the well-being of those around us. It’s in contentment that we look after ourselves as well as the people around us, though obviously I’m aware that there are some who say they are content yet the people. Despite this, it’s when you strive for pure happiness, hearty laughs, true friendships, contentedness, rather than the fleeting stuff of pleasure that only lasts but a moment, that you succeed at life.

There are so many people who don’t ‘follow their heart’ yet are perfectly content with not having done so because they have decided what the priority in their life, their happiness is. And this happiness does not necessarily come from pursuing ones desires as we’re often told to do so if we have an artistic dream such as singing, dancing or acting. Come to think of it (this is a side note), if people followed their hearts desires then there wouldn’t be diversity in the world as most of us would be pursuing the exact same dreams which would also mean that there would be a lot more broken hearts around and there are plenty as is. But I digress, it’s often that this happiness actually comes from the more mundane things in life such as sticking with your family, helping your local community, becoming a mother, being in the present rather than pursuing for something you’re less likely to get. It’s not to say you shouldn’t pursue your dream, but you should always choose to be present in whatever season of your life. You should follow your dreams, but when doing so, ask yourself, is it worth it? Am I truly happy? Am I suffering as a result of this pursuit? If the answer to the second one is a firm no, then what you’re doing (without a doubt) most definitely is not worth your time if it is robbing you of your life.

The quote to the left sums it up pretty much. If it makes you happy, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t. We should stop following this teaching of ‘following your heart no matter the cost’ because there is one cost you should never give up, your happiness. Obviously it’s a completely different matter if it’s a God driven heart’s desire, as that will always lead to joy because its God leading you even if there are hardships along the way.

When I first started writing this I honestly had no idea where I was going with it, but I like how in writing it, I came to understand my view on success a lot better though I dint directly refer to success. As a society we should start to encourage deeper thinking rather than shallow thoughts that have no substance. We should stop blankly accepting the norms but rather understand what secular teachings are actually implying. Are they really virtues that should be promoted? Most often not, but I’ll leave that for you to decide.

Ellah xx

*P.s. it’s obviously a lot more complex when finding contentment and many more factors go into it. Maybe we’ll take about that another day (no promises). And just to say, I am yet to succeed it if any are worried they are the only ones yet to find contentedness.