My own worst enemy #DecemberWonderings

I am my own worst enemy.

This is something that I am really starting to see every day of my life. I get in the way of moving forward. I limit myself. I believe in my ability and capabilities yet I still don’t believe. I doubt myself. I scare myself out of doing something.

And why?

Because I’m scared of actually succeeding, because once you succeed what else can you do? Once you succeed you don’t feel anything because there is nothing to aim for.

But then again, I’m forgetting the joy that is felt when you succeed at something that felt impossible. When you finally get the sense that you can do more than originally thought.

But the question is, even though I know all this, why am I still scared?

Ive realised that I’m scared of the process because it is HARD and there’s no sugar coating it. It consists of trying and failing, trying again, failing, falling, and plummeting right down to the bottom of the pit with a ton of dead weights weighing you down from climbing to the top. Its long, drawn out process that usually needs to be completed within a short period of time. This leads to you trying to distract yourself, i.e. procrastinate.

I am my own worst enemy.

Ellah xx